Understanding
How can I communicate better so peaceful results are achieved?
When we listen and hear what the other person is saying, we’re taking the time to understand why. Both of us being present in the moment, without impatience or judgment allows the content to be heard. When you're preoccupied or distracted and you don’t ask for clarity, the message becomes confused or lost. How many times do issues surface later when you realize that you didn’t understand what the other person was asking or explaining to you? Understanding is the ability to recognize and interpret with thoughtful consideration why people do the things they do. When you can see what someone else can’t, share your knowledge and communicate with honesty so your understanding enlightens the situation with peaceful results.
Peace Ambassador
Comments
A wonderful question and one that contains a lot of hope. I say this because the very act of wondering how to communicate to achieve peace is very comforting. I've found that it's helpful to think of a few things to listen effectively.
1. Anything the other person says is simply their experience.
2. Simply listen so you are enriched by hearing someone else's story.
3. Try not to react, even when you disagree with the other person.
4. Listen actively and try not to think of your next opinion, advice, rebuttal etc. just listen.
5. Try not to bring an agenda, let the conversation go where it may.
6. Listen until the person is finished.
7. Relax, breathe and keep practicing.
8. Remember that conversations aren't a win/lose situation.
9. Talk only when absolutely necessary. Keep your tone calm and welcoming.
10. When in doubt, keep listening.
If we practice these fundamental ideas we can put aside a lot of the perceived slights and hurts of the past. Conversation then focuses on learning about the other person regardless of the subject matter. It's a great way to interrupt the pattern of reacting blindly to what other people say and shift to really listening to their experience.
Take care,
Guy